Making the best of a bad thing

Twice now I've made these funny little sculptures. About 5 or 6 in each pit firing and both times they have broken in the firing process. I even got stronger clay but to no avail. The second firing was worse and these 2 were the only ones that sort of survived. I hate waste. So polished them up and took their photos. The ones from the first firing are still on my desk. My original plan for them fell through not helped by the breakage. The frustration is immense. But what can I do? The process is fickle and I don't have the luxury of a bisque fire in a posh kiln first, not that I think I would want to anyway.I think I'm done with these figures for now. 

Some drawings

Pencil drawings on brown paper. Drawn with the freedom of not to much thinking.

Untitled, 2023

Untitled dry point with gold leaf. Edition of 8. The gold leaf came about because I made a big smudge above one of the prints. So essentially a fancy cover up that worked out for the better.  Its about an a5 size print on a4 size paper.

Disjointed

I've been doing a little experimenting with dry point and drawing over the top of the prints. The idea seemed better in my head. I'll tip away at them slowly.

Next week I have my surgery, a mastectomy. It's going to be a big upheaval. I'm not worried about the surgery but more the after. I hope it doesn't knock me sideways and I'll be back on my feet quickly.  

It's going to be strange but if I can get through loosing my hair, having it all fall out in clumps I, sure I can manage this. Lets hope they don't find cancer and the chemo has gotten rid of everything. 

Make faeries popular in art again

Sunday drawing

New drawing

Just keep drawing, just keep drawing, drawing, drawing and you will get through.

A Bit Different

 Some new drawings that I have been tipping away at. Trying to be relaxed as possible and just going with the flow. I have been really fighting with myself, body and mind when It comes to drawing so just trying to give myself a break. What I would like to do with these is transfer them onto fabric and go over them with stitch. I am in such a panic to get as much work done as possible and I have so many little projects that need completing, its a constant battle. I'm up against my own body, other responsibilities and Dr appointments. Soon it will be surgery time and I worry that's going to floor me, especially as it will be on my drawing side. I just have to keep going, and not hit a wall.

Wood Witch, Cone Sculpture

'Wood Witch,' mixed- media 2023

 This piece has taken some making. It has already been made twice, each time the original body design (pictured below) blew up in the pit firing process. I blame the clay I was using, but I also saw it as a sign that this idea was not meant to be. So I decided to use the cone shape instead which I feel has worked out much better. This little bit of wood, worn smooth over time has been knocking about my studio for the longest time. I think I found it on the beach, but I have had it so long now I really couldn't tell you; just biding its time waiting to be used, constantly being picked up, fiddled with, looked at and put away again. The beads around the figures neck were found in a tiny tin in my grandmothers jewellery box, the tin was wrapped in wax paper. I dont know what they originally belonged to but felt the must have held some value to be kept the way they were. They are so minuet that I had to use a pair of tweezers and magnifying glasses to painstakingly thread them. The wood delicately stands freely in the ceramic cone.    

 

Bead detail

Head detail

original failed design

New Drawings

Roosters Song, mono-print with gouache and pencil

Untitled, pencil with gold leaf

 Just finished the Roosters song drawing above. not sure how happy I am with it. been struggling with my drawing and finding inspiration. I need to get out more maybe. Finding the act of drawing hard and not liking my painting/colouring or compositions. Its difficult. Wondering what the hell I'm doing half the time. What its all for, what am i supposed to be working towards besides the cheap high I get from the few likes on Instagram. It has to lead up to some sort of acknowledgement from the art world at some point, some sort of an exhibition. I'm sure it will work out.

Yesterday was my last day of chemo. Six rounds done and dusted. Just need to get over the sickness this round will cause and its onto surgery then radiation. The ride isnt over for another year. Another year of medication to keep the cancer at bay, every 3 weeks. The consultant says there is no reason why I cant have a normal life, but it will still be hard having it hanging over me. What is normal anyway?

It has to be done.

All Dogs go to Heaven

All Dogs go to Heaven, installation ceramic sculpture.

I'm to nauseous and tired to do anything in the studio thanks to chemo, even typing this is a hardship, so I have been contemplating this piece I made a few years ago. Sadly packed away, awaiting its time to be exhibited.

Above is a digital mock up of the piece installed, (not to scale).

One of the sadest things I heard while going to Catholic school was that our dogs don't go to heaven. They don't go anywhere, they just die.

What a devastating statement to hear and being told that a perfect heaven doesn't include the animals we held so close and dear during our lifetime.

It didn't seem much like heaven to me.

To me Heaven is seeing all ones beloved pets again in the after life.

All Dogs go to Heaven is my homage to all those dogs who were told they weren't going to heaven. 

Each dog is hand made and fired in my pit. Some are broken but that's OK, no pup is perfect. Ideally they would be hung on a wall galloping towards the bisque fired church which is filled with a gold tinged forest.

My journey to MidJourney

I'm very interested in this #midjourney app. I spent an afternoon telling it stories about dreaming of fancy pigeons and finches and so forth and this was the best image it came up with. I loved it. I love the abnormalities and the colours. I was very much against the AI apps when people were making the self portraits that were just nocking off digital artists styles. But after seeing artist who are using #midjourney in the paid app,creating their own style to fit their work I have become very interested. Especially for those bad pain days, days of nausea and fatigue when you just can't manage the studio. It could come in handy as a sort of sketchbook or extention of ones work and thoughts. 

So maybe I will jump on the band wagon but only if I can make it work for me. We are always learning and growing as artists. There's no harm in that.

As they say, watch this space...

Dry-point, Hugging the dog roses,

My first dry point in a long while. Not to happy with it as the lines could be better  but I'm trying to do fine lines on a material that blurs the line. I also found it very difficult to wipe maybe this was the new water based ink I was using instead of the oil based? I did about 10 prints. It was exhausting and I ached all over after. I don't think I would be able for a large edition. I can well see the benefit of sending a print to be printed by a professional print work shop. I'm just not able anymore. 

I printed these on my x-cut press, a4 in size, with the help of josie the parrot who happily threw and tore newspaper while also watching my progress from my shoulder.

New Drawing, Budgie Keeper

'Budgie Keeper,' 2023 pencil and gouache on paper

Untitled Drawing, 2023. Happy New Year'

'Untitled,' 2023 pencil on pastel paper

 Technically this drawing was completed in 2022. I was so desperate to have it finished before my fourth round of chemo. I hadnt drawn in a while and man is it hard to get the brain and hands working again. Im glad I got it done though as I am feeling so sick after chemo, so tired I just coudnt face it.

Its very frustrating as I am brimming with ideas and the best i can do is to just sketch them out in hopes they wont be forgotten, then try and get the hands and brain working again after another hiatuses. What is worse this week is my fibro kicked back in after taking a back seat. The cancer nurses all said that those suffering with fibromyalgia find that during chemotherapy it tends to go away. Wish it would stay away. Such is life. just take it day by day.

Happy New Year to you all.